Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
