we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
