my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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