Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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