I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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