brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
