you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize