I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize