you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Your shirt... Was in my pants
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
