i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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