he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
