i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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