I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
