I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize