Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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