i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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