you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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