Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
