his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I want a musical about memes.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize