Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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