is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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