Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
