I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
