Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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