My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
