Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize