i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
pop tarts are not kleenex
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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