She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
from now on my penis is your penis
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
