New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
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He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
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I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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