Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
