The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
