i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
