Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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