I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
