it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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