YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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