Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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