I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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