So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
