I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
