she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
