I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Randomize
