talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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