she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
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I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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