There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
