I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
