my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
