Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
