Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
