Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I love you.
Bad choice
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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