I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
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