oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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