I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
