In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
