You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
