he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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