Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
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he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
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gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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