i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
