I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Randomize
