If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
