Dual....:-)
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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