Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
