So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
