Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
