Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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